This time...

There's a story in Genesis of a woman - a mom - a wife, who wanted to badly to obtain the approval of her husband, to legitimize her place in his life. A place of security, worthiness and affirmation. She was competing in her Jewish culture with her sister, who was also a wife of Mr. Jacob (don't ask...it was just how they did things in the good ol' B.C.) She thought that giving birth to a son would make her seem so proud, so invincible.

So she had one son.

And then she had another.

And she had a third...

And in Genesis 29:35 I find one of the most convicting and encouraging pieces of Scripture in all of the Bible:

"She conceived again, and when she game birth to a son she said, "This time I will praise the Lord." And she named him Judah."

First of all, how awesome. Second of all, how silly. I do this all the time. Sometimes it takes not one, not two, not three, not four....times until I fall on my face and say, "Ok God. I get it. THIS TIME, I'll praise You. THIS TIME I will love You. THIS TIME I will do it right."

Leah realized that all of the affirmations and approvals she had been seeking in life were not to be found in the acceptance of another person, but in the grace and forgiveness of her loving God. I need this truth to forever be seared into my brain.

When work is overwhelming and I feel like I'm under pressure: THIS TIME I will praise the Lord.

When my precious daughter mouths off to me like a 14 year old: THIS TIME I will praise the Lord.

When my love life is confusing, frustrating and exhausting: THIS TIME I will praise the Lord.

When my family life overwhelms me with insecurities and pain: THIS TIME I will praise the Lord.

When my friends fail my wishes in some form or fashion: THIS TIME I will praise the Lord.

But also...

When I make that $50,000 sale and life seems secure: THIS TIME I will praise the Lord.

When my baby girl throws her arms around me and buries her head in my chest: THIS TIME I will praise the Lord.

When my love life is sweet, serene, encouraging and uplifting: THIS TIME I will praise the Lord.

When I remember those of my family who stand by me unconditionally: THIS TIME I will praise the Lord.

When my friends...are just themselves (God love 'em): THIS TIME I will praise the Lord.

This time. Every time. In every instance. 

Praise Him, Allen. Praise Him.