"Consider the Source"

We started a new series in our church recently entitled: Consider the Source. By the way (as a bit of a disclaimer), this blog was never intended to be an outlet of impressive spiritual news and knowledge - I am far from that, seriously. I am but a simple man, yet a hungry one - hungry in the sense of my life's deepest meaning and purpose.

What is it? Why am I here? What do I have to accomplish? Who do I need to reach/influence for Him?

Consider the Source.

In Genesis we get a sweeping account of the creation of the world. We see in Genesis 1:1 that "In the beginning, God..." He was there before all else. Nothing gets its start without His stamp of approval. There is no such thing as a big bang. There is no such thing as a random beginning. "In the beginning, God created..."

He spoke to the darkness, and from the darkness came light. It was so...just as He said it.

He spoke to the waters and created the sky, separating the two. It was so...just as He said it.

He spoke to the waters again, and from the waters He created land. It was so...just as He said it.

He spoke to the land and created plants, vegetation and animals of many kinds. He spoke to the sky and created the sun, moon, billions of stars and the "birds of the air." He spoke again to the waters and created every living thing in the sea.

Genesis 1:26 comes next: "Then God said, Let US make man in OUR image..."

Do you see it? He looked to the darkness, the water, the land and the sky and from them He created His world - that was the source. When it came to you and I, He looked at Himself.

Wow. When God wanted to make me, He looked in the mirror. I don't know whether to feel in awe or gripped with shame - maybe a little bit of both. When I look in the mirror every morning, I certainly don't see a reflection of His face...but He does.

What an encouragement.

This time...

There's a story in Genesis of a woman - a mom - a wife, who wanted to badly to obtain the approval of her husband, to legitimize her place in his life. A place of security, worthiness and affirmation. She was competing in her Jewish culture with her sister, who was also a wife of Mr. Jacob (don't ask...it was just how they did things in the good ol' B.C.) She thought that giving birth to a son would make her seem so proud, so invincible.

So she had one son.

And then she had another.

And she had a third...

And in Genesis 29:35 I find one of the most convicting and encouraging pieces of Scripture in all of the Bible:

"She conceived again, and when she game birth to a son she said, "This time I will praise the Lord." And she named him Judah."

First of all, how awesome. Second of all, how silly. I do this all the time. Sometimes it takes not one, not two, not three, not four....times until I fall on my face and say, "Ok God. I get it. THIS TIME, I'll praise You. THIS TIME I will love You. THIS TIME I will do it right."

Leah realized that all of the affirmations and approvals she had been seeking in life were not to be found in the acceptance of another person, but in the grace and forgiveness of her loving God. I need this truth to forever be seared into my brain.

When work is overwhelming and I feel like I'm under pressure: THIS TIME I will praise the Lord.

When my precious daughter mouths off to me like a 14 year old: THIS TIME I will praise the Lord.

When my love life is confusing, frustrating and exhausting: THIS TIME I will praise the Lord.

When my family life overwhelms me with insecurities and pain: THIS TIME I will praise the Lord.

When my friends fail my wishes in some form or fashion: THIS TIME I will praise the Lord.

But also...

When I make that $50,000 sale and life seems secure: THIS TIME I will praise the Lord.

When my baby girl throws her arms around me and buries her head in my chest: THIS TIME I will praise the Lord.

When my love life is sweet, serene, encouraging and uplifting: THIS TIME I will praise the Lord.

When I remember those of my family who stand by me unconditionally: THIS TIME I will praise the Lord.

When my friends...are just themselves (God love 'em): THIS TIME I will praise the Lord.

This time. Every time. In every instance. 

Praise Him, Allen. Praise Him.

You. Can't. Make. Me. Ashamed.

This is good. This is the single greatest post of my blogging career which started all of 6 days ago.

Seriously though, I discovered a truth this past week - a life changing truth, that I had never noticed or given much thought to in the previous 29 years of my life. Let me share.

I learned the difference between guilt and shame.

You see, on quite a personal note, I have done some things in my life (even recently), that have caused some pain to the people that I love the most. I have acted selfishly, independently, arrogantly and without any regard to future consequences, which lets face it, I just described us all at some point in our lives. We do things that we aren't proud of. We do things that bring tears - to our eyes and the eyes of others. We do things that make the "r" word personal (regret). And as followers of Jesus, the greatest pain from our failures comes from defaming the name of the One we love the most.

So what do we do? We beat ourselves up. We truly feel remorse for what we've done, but we channel all of our energy into making sure that we don't see the light of day because we think that "we don't deserve to". We punish ourselves. We abuse ourselves. We hurt...ourselves. But as I have been doing these very things to myself recently, I have learned a liberating piece of wisdom that has fundamentally changed my life forever:

Guilt is a reflection of something that I did. Shame is a reflection of something that I believe I am. Shame tries to take what I did and it tries to tell me that's who I am. Shame is personal (What's wrong with me?). Shame is permanent (I always mess up like this). Shame is pervasive (I always mess up everything!)

The enemy (that's a very Christian term for Satan or "the devil") will take something that I've done and convince me that it is exactly who I am. He knows how to beat me down, and he does it time and time and time again. He's relentless. You know why? Because he knows that the longer he keeps me down, the less effective I can be for the cause of Good in this world. These thoughts abound:

You're a terrible father.
You're a ridiculous friend.
You are a failure at love and relationships.
You can't do anything right.
Your purity - what's that? You tossed that out the window ages ago.
What morals? Are you kidding?

Its that voice of accusation, telling me that I won't ever amount to who God says I can become.

Ask Peter. You know, that guy - the one who followed Jesus as His "right hand man" in many ways for 3 years. He was brash and the first to speak, bold and filled with courage. After he denied his loving Savior and that rooster crowed like Jesus said it would, Peter's heart sank. It fell out of his chest. It hit him like a ton of bricks. He collapsed under the weight of his inability to be loyal when his best Friend needed him most.

Now, see what I believe to be one of the most powerful verses in the Bible:

Luke 22:61 "Then the Lord turned and looked at Peter."

Let me tell you something - do any of us think that Christ was just a tad busy with the sins of the whole world at the moment? Do any of us think that maybe He was a little preoccupied with the false accusations coming His way? Do any of us think that just maybe He was in a little bit of pain from the physical beating that He has begun to take? Do any of us think that He had any time to TURN and look at the man who denied His friendship?

Point is - He didn't turn away from Peter in shame, He turned to Peter in love. Even when His world was falling apart. Even when his destiny was now certain - to be slaughtered for the very "friend" who had just denied Him 3 times, He turned TO him.

That's grace. That's forgiveness. That, my friends, is our Advocate.

So can I encourage you - lift up your head. Lift up your eyes and look Grace in the face. Listen to His conviction - that's what brings you to Him. Own your sin and mistakes, while making no excuse for them, but get up! You aren't loved because you deserve it, you're loved because He made you worthy. The accuser will remind you of your shame and Jesus will remind you of your righteousness in Him.

Cling to it. Love it. Embrace it. Look at your failures, shortcomings and imperfections and proclaim with enthusiasm: You. Can't. Make. Me. Ashamed.

Freedom is a beautiful thing...

I woke up this morning with "freedom" on the brain. That theme was supported by a screaming Mel Gibson in the clip below:

I don't know about you, but now I want to run through a wall. It's the "wild at heart" theme within my soul that clamors for victory in many battles. I want the chance to wield a sword. I want the chance to charge an enemy in emphatic passion fueled by a cause so deep, so worthwhile. I want to be able to scream the word "freedom" so loud that there isn't a soul who wouldn't hear it. I want a victory.

Now that the adrenaline is pumping at 96mph and my heart rate is ridiculous, I hear a whisper. Its a whisper that says: 

"You can't fight without Me. You are smart but not strong. You are devoted but not determined enough. The enemy you face is darker and more desperate than you could imagine and you cannot take him down out of sheer willpower. Do you want your freedom? Then you must trust Me. You must lean into Me. You must follow Me. I am your advocate, I am your only source of strength. I will charge wickedness and evil with a vengeance so powerful and pure that you need not do anything.

Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or discouraged, for I have personally gone ahead of you. I will be with you, and will never fail you or abandon you. Remember - where my Spirit is, there is liberty."

I kind of get the visual of a parent shielding their child from something dangerous, as the frightened toddler buries their face in the back of their parents' leg so as not to see the "monster" approaching. Let me explain what I'm getting at: 

The battle of my life and for my life, isn't mine to fight, it's His. If I could fight it and emerge victorious, then its pretty much a guarantee that I would tout my successes to the world while centering the spotlight on yours truly. 

Therein lies the point.

Whatever battle I fight within myself (whether it be a struggle for sexual purity, selfishness, conditional love, or the abandoned feeling of unworthiness and shame) He wants me to know that it will be taken care of. He will do the "dirty work" and the heavy lifting. He asks me to just stand behind Him, bury my face in Him and shift my fighting focus. I need to shift my focus to fight for my relationship with Him. I need to fight for my closeness with Him. I need to relentlessly pursue a lifestyle that points others to His grace. 

That is my fight. 

The rest is His.

I will funnel my desires, my dreams, my passions, my insecurities, my weaknesses and my strengths directly through the grace of my loving God, and He will obliterate all things that oppress, discourage, destroy and devastate. He has promised it, and I hold Him to it. He has never given me a reason to doubt Him, and I'm convinced He never will.

Thank you God for your grace. Thank you for my freedom.

This is just the beginning.

This is the beginning of a new chapter - the chapter of a man who has been broken. Broken isn't such a bad term, at least not in my book. "Broken" can be a good thing when the Maker decides to make "improvements", because usually he has something much better in mind. Forgive me, but do you catch my spiritual cliche' there? As a follower of Jesus, I am constantly being challenged and changed because it "isn't I, but Christ who lives in me." My life is not mine. My wishes are not mine. My goals, ambitions, dreams and aspirations are not mine - they are His, or at least I strive for them to be so.

The following entries will be the chronicles of a journey...that journey down the "broken" road. You will see raw emotion and an unedited taste of what I'm learning, how I'm growing and what I'm being challenged to become. My hope is that through my genuine expression of real truths and life lessons, that you will be blessed and able to encounter something that I've discovered and now need more than ever: His grace.

See, grace in and of itself is "getting what we don't deserve." If you're like me, you can think of several instances in life where that has happened. Maybe it was something simple and small - like a gift. Maybe it was something better, and maybe it was something great. Something massive. Something out of the ordinary. Something that makes your jaw drop in amazement because you never saw it coming.

Over the last year, this is a concept that I have studied and grown more and more appreciative of, and highly grateful for. Ephesians 1 talks about being "adopted as sons and daughters, to the praise of His glorious grace." You see, there is grace...and then there is glorious grace. A grace that gives you strength to face each new challenge while overcoming your inadequacies/insufficiencies at the same time. A grace that gives you the ability to face your fears with courage and commitment. A grace that gives you the eyes to see yourself as your Father sees you, not as the devil wants you to be seen - full of shame and indignity, shrouded in regret and fear.

A famous preacher once said: "Grace and glory differ very little. One is the seed - the other is the flower. Grace is glory militant. Glory is grace triumphant."

Think about that.

Intertwining, coexisting, essentially one in the same. Grace supplies you with the strength for the fight, glory is the result of all of that effort...and you and I would be foolish to deflect that glory to anyone other than our Jesus, who gave us the ultimate gift of grace when He died for you and me.

Come with me friends, let's go on this journey together. This broken road is paved with His glorious grace. It is indeed, the best place to begin.